We can say a particular bumper sticker has a great tag line, something funny which makes us smile; there may be a great design which catches the eye; it can be promoting something emotive, such as a political or religious viewpoint, or it may be something completely unconnected with any of these factors.  Answering a question like this is very similar to giving a precise answer to “how long is a piece of string” – we don’t really know, but what is reasonable is that a good bumper sticker touches us in some way on a human level.

The majority of bumper stickers are of the humorous variety, and what makes people smirk, smile or laugh has never been defined or quantified, certainly with no more success as anyone may have with herding cats!  Typically, what qualifies as a good, funny bumper sticker is that they are short and punchy, usually very personal (as in the words, “I”, “my” or “your” being used a lot) and they have popular appeal.  It’s a rarity to find a high brow joke on a bumper sticker, but there again is something of the characteristic of a good bumper sticker – you have a highly visible sticker on one of your most valuable possessions, so you’re certainly making a statement and probably you want it to be a popular one.

There is another characteristic which we commonly see with bumper stickers – they are highly personal.  How many times do you see a sticker proclaiming, “My daughter is an honor roll student” or “My son is a US Marine”?  If we have something to say, especially if we are proud of it, there is little better than a bumper sticker to tell the whole, wide world.  Well, perhaps there is the internet with Facebook, but bumper stickers have been around for a lot longer than the internet!

Sticking with the personal theme, another characteristic of a good bumper sticker is that it appeals to our emotions.  Bumper sticker themes are rarely unemotional, usually they are the complete reverse and little else is guaranteed to raise an emotional reaction than politics or religion.  No surprise then that many bumper stickers promote political candidates and parties, or take a stance on religious views in both a positive and negative fashion.

It is wrong to think that bumper stickers are “throw away” philosophy and the product of junk or pop culture.  Many bumper stickers are thought provoking – they need to be because their brevity requires the reader to make some leap with their imagination to get the point.  While the standard, “I Love NY” leaves little to the imagination, many bumper stickers do represent a brain teasing experience as in, “If You Can Read This – I Can Slam on My Brakes and Sue You”.

We can summarize the key features of a good bumper sticker in three words – personal, emotive and short.  There cannot be any such thing as a “long” bumper sticker because the car bumper is too small or the lettering will be unreadable.  The challenge is how to make your bumper sticker demonstrate your personal attributes in an emotional fashion, and how good a sticker is really comes down to how well it provokes that emotional response with a punch.

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While many bumper stickers are magnetic and all you need to do to remove them is lift them off the bodywork, most bumper stickers sold today have an adhesive backing which is very strong and resistant to pretty much anything.  Sooner or later, you come across a car you really like but how sure are you that the bumper sticker proclaiming “Vote Satan” will go down well with the local church on Sundays or ever!

There are several things you can do to remove an adhesive backed bumper sticker, so follow this step-by-step guide to getting those irritating and enraging maxims of your car.

Step One

Use a lubricant to try to weaken the adhesion of the bumper sticker to the bodywork.  WD40 is ideal for this because it does not affect the color of the bodywork, provided you clean it off shortly after application.  Be careful if you use a solvent to dissolve the adhesive on the bumper sticker as they are very likely to discolor the paint job or eat right the way through it to the underlying metal body work.

Once you have applied the lubricant, try to peel the sticker off – repeat application of the lubricant to the underside of the bumper sticker so it gains maximum exposure to the adhesive – you may need to apply and reapply the lubricant in multiple stages to achieve removal of the bumper sticker.

If this does not work, move on to Step Two below.

Step Two

Apply hot water to the bumper sticker, ideally using a rag soaked in boiling water – be careful and always wear PROTECTIVE GLOVES!

This is hot work and has every capacity to hurt the user when applying the hot water so be careful to take precautions.  Make sure there are no children or family pets nearby to get in the way when you are transporting and applying the hot water.

Once applied, hold the rag for 30 seconds against the bumper sticker and attempt to peel back the sticker.  Again, you may need to apply and reapply the hot water as you peel some of the sticker away so it gets to work directly on the adhesive involved.  One tip is to work around the edge of the sticker and keep peeling it back until completely removed.

If this does not work, proceed to Step Three.

Step Three

Use a hair dryer to apply heat directly to the bumper sticker.  Heat will soften the adhesive and make it less sticky – unpeel a corner and continue to apply heat to the exposed underside as you peel away the sticker.  You can use a wooden or rubber spatula to help lift the sticker from the body work but under no circumstances should you use a sharp knife or a razor, which will simply scratch the paint job or bumper.

Step Four

Using a soft rag, apply rubbing alcohol to the remains of the bumper sticker on the car, which by now should simply be adhesive with perhaps some remnants of the sticker itself.  Use the alcohol soaked rag to remove the rest of the sticker adhesive and debris.

Step Five

Polish and wax the area where the bumper sticker was attached and buff to finish.

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